..

it was a dream that i lived with you
a dream that i wanted to come true
n though, it all never ever happened
i cherish it, as a gift from you
how do i tell anyone what it was
what do i explain myself for the loss
only you could realize its essence
but you arent there anymore
how would you know
i wish that i could wake up n see
nothing has happened like how i imagined it to be
you would still adoringly embrace me
n the world would still be heaven for me

alas!
life would take its stride
it would leave us behind
in those memories
n though we would still exist
we wont ever be able to feel
the same old heavenly breeze

26.06.09

A railway line to heaven was in process to build
Which would go far till the hill
There was a dream of peaceful love filled guild
Being the strength together but until
A day came when strong flowing winds blew off the rails
There were no signs of the existing fairy tales
Parallel rails turned opposite ways
Bountiful love became bountiful dismays
There wasn’t any hope
What was left was some remnant smoke
Sooner or later everything had to get over
I wish i had more time savor
I wish it would not have been this way
Let the memories rest in peace i pray..

24.06.09
if I were to be what I want to be
dunno how life would be
it would be just a dream may be
cause it wouldn’t couple with reality

those bare feets won’t be able to walk that long
hearts so compassionate wont be so strong
everything right would then prove wrong
not many would agree to get along

after all theres much more than love n compassion
to reach high ends one needs some aggression
the slightest should have a long lasting impression
hurt n anguish should follow the flow in immediate fashion

how does it matter if it actually exists
who wants love to persist
even if I strive hard, the perpetual falsity wont twist
let the eternity be alone, the sky insist

the days gone by are history
let the dreams die in the closet like a mystery
let chains be the new form of being free
let the search finally end to find me

24.06.09
if I were to be what I want to be
dunno how life would be
it would be just a dream may be
cause it wouldn’t couple with reality

those bare feets won’t be able to walk that long
hearts so compassionate wont be so strong
everything right would then prove wrong
not many would agree to get along

after all theres much more than love n compassion
to reach high ends one needs some aggression
the slightest should have a long lasting impression
hurt n anguish should follow the flow in immediate fashion

how does it matter if it actually exists
who wants love to persist
even if I strive hard, the perpetual falsity wont twist
let the eternity be alone, the sky insist

the days gone by are history
let the dreams die in the closet like a mystery
let chains be the new form of being free
let the search finally end to find me

16.07.09

n gradually this time would go by
i sigh
wiping off all the reminiscence
slowly.. sucking out life
and breath by breath taking away all those moments
helpless
lost long ago
n dying bit by bit now
losing sight of the cliff while falling through the depths
engulfed in the dark
wish to have said good bye

How would it be
Don’t ask me
Though I am being strong
But don’t know if it would carry for long
It would be ages far away
Just don’t want it to be a dismay
There would be washing away waves
There would deserted dark caves
N there would be lost me
hanging between future n destiny
Wish everything turns out good to see
N not a nightmare for my testimony

02/06/09

How easy is it to forget what you don’t want to
Its like taking flight to fly from the top, when you don’t know how to
Falling down, minute by minute
Remembering past with regret
N wanting to turn back time
The golden age which leaves reminiscence
Raping our present with its presence
The lost time, a reason for our time loss now
Was once a joyous present, moment of solemn vows
N would soon be just an imagination, lost in history
Something, which was never meant to be

02/06/09

Come into my world
N see those beautiful colors of my emotions
White, blue, red, orange, yellow n green.. n many more
Come n dive into all the love that I have
Unconditional, unbounded, ubiquitous, untrammeled
Though I don’t know you, neither do I want to
I want to experience the divinity, the oneness between me n u
I just want to know, the essence which relates me to u
I want to become a part of the wholeness, which encompasses me n u
Feel n let me feel, the true meaning of a relationship
A real relationship, which is already there, doesn’t have to be made
A relationship which doesn’t give us an option to accept or reject
Which is stronger, ageless, eternal . .
Give me a chance to explore the real me, n the real relationships of my me
I wish I could feel to be the world in totality
Be with me, n feel, what I see

01/06/09

Ive faltered
But ive learned
Ive gained a new life
N ive earned my self
Ive known what I am
Ive known some meanings
Ive seen a bit of world
N im prepared for the rest of it
Im gona walk this thin line till the end
That’s where I see the light coming from
I am sure, im following the light not darkness
N im sure, I would be a light to the world

for my feeling called love..

you have been doing it since then. its not at all new. for a thing as pure as love, you turned your heart, and now you cant undo. it doesnt matter to me, if you hurt me. it wont matter to our dreams which were always unreal. in the end it would just matter to you. you are flying to an unreal peak. when you break down, you'll fall down, all through the height, alone. the world which is building your base, actually doesnt even exist. you'll realize it, but it would be too late. i wish i could still protect you, harness you in my love. oh i wish so much..you were there..

a lost friend..

you had been quiet close to me
though we never talked much
without being in your physical touch
i could relate to you as a friend
i could never give or take advice
neither did i remain very nice
but still, that relation was there
unheard, unthought of, unfelt
its today, i realize..
im sorry for not missing you when alive
it wont matter much to many
hardly some would care
may be i would forget too
but i cant forget that you were there
i wish best of luck to you friend
i should have wished it a little earlier
how i feel helpless now, to be so late
sometimes it feels too hard to fight our fate

a feeling..which died..

did you see the moon today
can u hear, his cruel rumble
his blood colored light,can u see
what must he have felt
when my beloved bird was torn apart
when feather by feather, he plucked her beauty
his blood stained teeth, it kills me every time i see
she was flying so gracefully in the sky, so high, so freely
the most beautiful creation of God
how does he care, now that his stomach's full
how could he even think of her purity
he would never know, he killed a million years of my existence
he would never know how she could have changed the eternity

Let me be invisible today
Let me be a ghost
An evil ghost may be
I wana hurt n be hurt
I don’t want to care about anyone
I don’t want to cure my injuries
I want to realize that even I have an individuality
If its end, then let it be
If its disgrace then let it be
I want to succumb to my own destiny
Let me experience the naked brutality
If my experiences are short of life, then so it be
Let me renounce this fake identity n wear transparency
Just for once, let me know what it takes to be me

which is the right way
what have i got to do
standing in the midst of sludge
which way should i pursue
am i not capable enough
am i growing frail
where did i make mistakes
where did my intuitions fail
may be one day i would realize
it wasn't me taking decisions
somebody planned a plot with precision
im just playing my role
i was never complete without you
it was you who made me whole

the leaves on that tree have started to fall
the roots though are firm
but it wont grow anymore tall
its not it's end term
it has to live a lot
i have started seeing its pain now
n my helplessness to help is clear n sought
it has been like this since ages
its toughness was admired but pain was never thought
its become it's habit now
loneliness has become friends, n family fought
teardrops dried up, feelings melted
its been numb since, debile and rot
i wish i could become its strength
i wish i could tell him..
papa..i love u a lot..

agar ant hi hai is kahani ka ant
to phir yu hi sahi
agar sach hi hai wo sab mannghadant
to phir yu hi sahi
agar takdeer hi hai sikudan
to phir yu hi sahi

ive lost my identity to dust
the pillars which made me strong
are no longer standing tall in my honour
i have hollowed them to shame
now i know i am not going to stand long
the ground beneath has sunken in
theres not enough anymore in my name
the time has gone, the grace period expired
ive pushed the limits too much
n yet, nothing has been etched on the charts of history
i wana be left to ruthlessness and pity

we can never compare ourselves with them
however rich and exuberant we may be
their penny would belittle our millions
if they are the eternity, we r just miniscule stones
our services to them for even lifetime
can never equilibrate their love, whichever form it may be
n yet when age takes over, we consider ourselves as their God
huh..who can explain, when is it considered to be sane?
is insane sane or sane sane?
life is not so deep as it seems,yet its deeper
are we the real we when we know who we are
or are we the real we when we dont know who we are
universally, we are but successors of our elderlies
what we are today, they have been before
n what we would be tomorrow, they are today
the difference is, they are ahead of us,n we can never compare

riding the waves of imagination
ive lost my state of conjugation
when my mind wants to fly
my dreams wants to die
emotions incessantly pouring out
emptying my conscience, killing my scout
exhausted eyes can no more behold
contrasting visuals leaving outcomes blindfold
its not the way it used to be
what used to be is a golden memory
now not much is left upto me
let life test me,let this be my destiny..

donning this blanket of night
concealed from my own negligent sight
i wish to cease my soiled existence
i wish to curtail my innocent pretense
for what i am, no one but i know
which is killing me to think, so
just let this darkness overshadow me
let my atrocities reveal
so that i dont be what i am
n become not just a sham of my inhumaneness
let me accept the damns
and freely experience the immorality
let me bare my nakedness to the serenity
let me know the real me
i wish not to be