Identity and Personality

Ganoba wrote :

At birth we receive the gift of an identity (asmita). Identity is about whom we are and the purpose for which we have been born. The circumstances of our birth; the time and place of birth, the family and community in which we are born, the kind of body we have received
etc can be useful pointers of our identity. They are not determinants of identity but only its indicators. Thus if we are born into a Brahmin family we are not Brahmins. We may at best have the potential to be one. It is true about any other creed, profession, ethnicity or nationality. Children born anywhere do grow with ease in any other setting. They, however, retain an urge to find out about their roots. This seems to indicate that the circumstances of our birth have some basic relationship with our identity.

In the process of growing up we have to interact with our environment. In doing so, we have to make choices at every step of the journey. The nature of choices we make determines what we become, the personality (vyaktimatva) we develop. When we are very young, others make choices on our behalf. Later they help us to make these choices. Some families and communities continue to make life choices on behalf of the individual stunting natural development. In the process, many people turn rebels and make reactive choices. Many of the choices, which are determined by out dated societal standards are such that the personality develops in a way not congruent with the identity, a situation ripe for inner conflict.
Personality is like a shell and identity is like the core. When the shell does not match the core there is a lot of noise and confusion. In the rare instances when they are congruent we see genius at work. Such a person acts with natural ease and grace. Such people are clear about who they are and what their mission in life is. We have quite a few instances of people who at a very young age know who they are and what their mission in life is. They are able to withstand the pressure of the immediate family to pursue their life goal.
What about the vast majorities who are swallowed by family tradition and end up living life in conflict and confusion? What about those who are lost and keep drifting from pillar to post? Is their no redemption for them? Of course there is. I was one such lost soul and have managed to find my natural bearings. I know many others who have done so. It has been my privilege to help many others to make the turn around towards their true being. I can, therefore say with
certainty that all is not lost.

Initially the turn around is like standing on the head and appears impractical and impossible. But I can assure you that it is possible, progressively enjoyable and graceful. We need to find a guide who is clear in mind, firm in practice and compassionate. He/she would continually urge us to look inwards and be guided by what appears on the mind screen. He/she would urge us to try out suggestions and look for results of our actions, both outside and inside. He/she would
invite us to share our findings with other co-travelers. This process sets up a learning spiral, which will eventually and surely lead us to our real self, our true identity. This will also ensure that our worldly persona would be congruent with the core ending all conflict and confusion.
If I can be of any help in this journey I would be honoured to do so.

Ganoba
A co-traveler