Kal kuchh palo ne mere yaado ke shamiyane me dastak di
Kuchh nam, kuchh meethe, kuch bheene,aur kuch lal rang se lipte hue
Andar bulaya, saraha, pyar se unhe panah di
Unme se kuchh pal ab tak dard se tadap rahe the
Un palo ki aanch ab tak bujhi nahi thi
Ye wahi pal the jinhone kuchh zindgiya jala di thi
Jane kyu kuchh zindgiya bhulayin nahi ja pati
Jane kyu in palo ki lapte unhe nigal nahi jati
Rakh ho chuke ehsaso ki kashish ab tak in palo ki tapish me nazar ati hai
Meri raat na jane kyu in palo ki takiya ban jati hai
Kab hogi wo raat jab andhera savera ban jaega
Kabtak yuhi mera ateet meri yaado k shamiyane ko jalaega
Kuchh kadam to aise bhi chal le meri zindgi
Jiski yaad se zakhmi na ho koi bhi aane wali khushi

i feel so lost n helpless
every time i hear your voice
soon it wont sound painful
and the stormy winds would pass by
you wont lose anything
n i never had anything to lose
i couldnt even tell you what i owe you
before you decided what not to choose
it was just me from the starting till the end
who failed to comprehend
lying and playing with mud
it was me always who couldnt understand
its not the earth or earthly things
its about the soul and the feelings
but now it has been carved on the palm of my hands
i was a stone,and now want to be the dust
for the pain you went through couldnt make me bleed enough
all i want to wish now is my breath no longer lasts
for its time for me to repay for my past
wonder if i knew you ever
still you were my own, but now no more

They say its a happy new year
But wat has changed
Sumtyms it really kills me
I dont understand y every1 has gone so insane
Who needs a new year,wasnt d last one painful enough?
There r people dying on d roads,does ne1 bothers to feel their pain?
I just dont want to hear my inner silence
It screams n mourns every second
It burns my soul alive and bleeds
Does it matter its hell or heaven
What have I made of me
N y is it me who wants to care
It chokes my heart,i can never show how much it means
How much I need u,d luv that uv never seen
I dont wana dream about a happy life anymore
Im just happy drowning in this pain
I dont need blessings or wishes anymore
I wana silently die today in this rain

Come on you old bastard, look you came again
You think you'll hide your self in darkness, but I can clearly see your ugly face
You scoundrel, why do you always love killing my dreamz
Is it my pain you enjoy d most, or is it my agony
Why do you love to see me trampled over
What have i done to you that makes you so cruel to me
You know i would never budge in front of you
I would never do what you want me to do
Even if the guilt kills me, i am ready to face it
But the sins i have committed, i would never erase it
I know the purpose you came for, but this time you'd go empty handed
Ill not let you tear my soul and leave me stripped and stranded
Go away, leave me alone and numb
I am just happy reaping the dead memories

kuchh purani si boli hai shayad isme
kuchh suni sunai si bhasha
pyar ka ambaar chhupa hua hai isme
aur phhootti kaliyo ki nayi zindgi ki abhilasha
ae mann,kyu hai udaas
aakhir kyu hai tere antah me nirasha
khul ja,ud ja,behek le thoda
jaan le,maan le,bas yahin hai zindgi ka kinara
uchak ke chhu le apna akaash
akela nahi tu,sari srishti hai tere paaas

Breath by breath

There are so many different faces of me

n i see myself in so many different faces
yet not even one is complete
not even one belongs to my individuality
in every loss i gain so many faces
in every gain i win so much pain
there is none which encapsulates
none where this sequence would end
the cycle is on, breath by breath
just counting, until my death

Fwd: wierd

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: manas prakash <prakashmanas@gmail.com>
Date: 2010/9/21



silence in the dark
i just listen to my own heart beat
no voice reaches me
i am lost in my own company
no ray of light surrounds me
no fresh air around me
succumbing to my own destiny
lying deserted in a painful dream
i don't want anyone to hold me
no cushiony blankets to behold me
just wanna be lost in its wilderness till eternity

silence in the dark
listening to the crying sky
hearing the moon singing a mournful lullaby
lost for ever in their company
the starry night surrounds me
its damp breath around me
succumbing to my own destiny
lying deserted in a painful dream
i wish my solitude holds me
the cushiony blanket of eternal sleep beholds me
just wanna be lost in its wilderness till eternity

silence in the dark
listening to my soul flying away on dreamy wings
death singing a soothing lullaby
to steal me forever in its company
the stars and the night pulling away from my sight
vacuum benumbing my feeble fight
lying comfortably in a drowsy dream
there's no word or reason, now that i need
the cushiony blanket of peace beholds me
im lost forever in the eternity..

it seems we have been walking together since ages but never knew
it seems i never knew friendship, the kind i found in you
i was lost n lying in the shadows,
watching the night drowsing the sea shore,
never realized when you came and painted my world
you just stood beside,
hugged me tight,
held my finger and twirled
i never saw life in such a beautiful way
you rekindled that fire to live,
n told me so simply - "this feeling is here to stay"
now i see my life romancing with time
i could hear my heart, n all its melancholy rhymes
you gave me world which i had lost long ago
i wish i could thank you, n wish i could let you know..
but instead, i wish to give you a lot more than this
i wish to make your life more beautiful than an "eternal bliss"
thank you for being..

time n again the same wounds resurface
some sounds which had clung on to my ears when i was there
some moments which i forgot by the roadside where we used to walk
some words which are still unsaid
i no longer, am the man who i was
all said n done n its never gonna be the same again
some more dreams n some more pain

if i write would you like to read how vulnerable ive become..
there was a time when you used to walk beside me n everything seemed to become alright..
but what now? its ultimate dark n im walking all alone..naked n numb..
there would be people laughing at me n mocking me..
they would beat me..hurt me..bleed me..
n i would just keep on walking as i have to..aimless n lost..
this would go on perhaps till every single drop of blood in my body would trickle down my cheeks..n you would just see
no one would ever remember the days that have gone..
none of them would ask where is that reverence wheres that faith now..
would just a faint smile be enough to determine the death of a few memories..

jaane kyu yaado se ab tak mann sharmsar hai
shayad kuchh beete pal ab tak meri tanhai pe udhaar hai
kaun kehta hai hame raat ke andhere se pyaar hai
hame to sirf apni parchhai ke mit jaane ka intezar hai

chori chupke kabhi zindgi ke chalne ki aahat sunte hain
kabhi baithe baithe aasmaan me khwaab bunte hain
aksar kai khayal jaane pehchane se milte hain
par sadiyo se lipte jazbaat phir bhi kabhi nahi pighalte hain

kya aisi bhi raat hogi jisme andhera nahi ho
jisme har pal ek nayi dastaan likhe, aur palko me sawalo ka pehra nahi ho
jiske paymane tay karte waqt bebasi ka basera nahi ho
aur jiske khwaabo ke aine me kisi purani justaju ka chehra nahi ho

some old msgs

aaj chaand bhi apni bebasi pe roya hoga..
shayad uski raat ko kisi andhere ne chhupa liya..
khamoshi ne awaaz me dard piroya hoga..
shayad kisi khwaab ne meri tanhai ko chura liya..

---------------

kuchh yaado ki mithaas aksar apna zayka palko pe chhod jaati hai..
kuchh baate aksar aakho me nami le aati hai..
kuchh barisho aur kuchh haseen nagmo ka fasana tha..
par khwaabo ka kya hai,unko to ekdin jal hi jana tha..
mere astitva ki lehro me jo pal beh ke aa gaye the..
jinka muqaam meri khushi me ghar basana tha..
ek roz unhe sagar ki gehrai me ghul hi jana tha..
khwaabo ka kya hai,unko to ekdin jal hi jana tha..

---------------

kuchh pal aur jee lene do yahi..
ab kuchh hi saase baaki hain..
maana ki yaha ab tumhari parchhai nahi..
par tumhari yaade roz yahi hamse milne aati hain.

kahi pe kaate kahi pe udaasi..
kahi ek maasoom zindgi zara si..
parchhaiyo me ulajh ke beet hi jaegi..
kahi raat to kahi subah si..

a sprinkle of drop 'round the corner of my eye
and some glimpses of a broken dream yest'day night
thats all the remains, theres no more that i hide
there're no more pain, n no more feelings to sigh

that life, an illusion, and the happy memories
theres much more than a fantasy, i have to see
its about a world beyond me
n about someone i dont have to be

let not the eyes see what they behold
let not the words sink in again, as they were told
why to care about a soul which every moment is sold
why to yearn for a hand i can never hold

its fragrance, it enchants
theres none unaffected
it instills serenity
which can never die
but to live with
and realize
all of it was a lie
trampled over
and crushed emotions
dreams a dreadful sight
cornered
in the darkest addictions of the night
barely alive
inner wounds more painful
than those bleeding outside
a few more breaths remain
to succumb to the end of this life

kal phir ek khwaab aakho me jal ke reh gaya
bikhre ehsaaso ka abhaas phir pighal kar beh gaya

kahi ek nayi si subah dekhi thi
chehekti hui khilkhilati muskan si thi
jo aakho se aise tapakti thi
ki jaise poori zindgi usime doob gayi ho
jaise meri saase uski madhosh mehek me so gayi ho

kaash subah aate hi raat ko dhalna na padta
kaash kuchh aur der mai raat ban kar subah ki baaho me khel sakta
mere ateet ki parchhai jis subah ne mita di
kaash me kuchh der aur khud ko bhool paane ka ehsas kar sakta
par shayad har raat ki yehi neeyati hai
subah ki god me hi har raat apni aakhri saase chunti hai

kal phir ek khwaab aakho me jal kar reh gaya
bikhre ehsaaso ka abhaas phir pighal kar beh gaya

treading along the lost road
i could well comprehend being blind
killing time to end my survival
paining to push those memories behind
numbed as the future unfolds
crushing the visions of my sinful mind
does it even matter
can i ever burn off what is destined

i wish you were here
to see how the stars have come down to talk to me
to feel the light of our beloved moon shadowing my vicinity
i wish you were here
to feel the warmth of our love flowing gently
whispering in their ears moments of enchanting beauty
i wish you were here
to see through my eyes the celebration of our togetherness and felicity
and behold this vision and cherish till eternity
i wish you were here
but im blinded and i am not able to find you
theres darkness all around and theres no one who can guide me through
i wish you were here
to hold my hand n take me somewhere new
where i can be just numb, where nothing of the past would hold true
i wish you were here
i just wish you were here..

its been a long road ever since we drifted apart..
n there has been a million twists n turns..
but the pleasure of walking along with you..
can never be conceived again..
i wonder whether you feel it or not..
somehow we have reached the worst versions of ourselves..
its become a habit to trample over emotions..
n over see the feelings which have already burnt to ashes..
nothing matters now..
numbness has taken over the pain..
n the darkness has concealed my existence..
this was never meant to be the purpose of my life..
n i wont let this life change my destiny..