helpless...

its so strange sometimes. when the person u want to talk to is just in front of you, when the dream you want to make come true is in front of you, n yet you back off. from deep inside a feeling comes n overcomes you to not do what you most want to do. your inner self feels so much scared to be hurt again that you dont feel like doing anything at all. somebody has said rightly, one who doesnt take a risk, never actually does anything new in his life. but for me, im just too scared. im too weak. risking it for the people whom i love, i cant do it. im happy to keep feeling hurt, to keep feeling the pain, rather than taking the risk of hurting my loved ones ever in future.
after all this, i am still lost, still helpless. i have been under the shadow for long. facing the naked sunlight again is hurting me. but now, i have to learn to fight it. i cant go on searching for shadows. for sometime it does sooth you. but ultimately the brunt of the pain has to be undergone by me alone. so just leme be...however helpless i be..