Her eyes were closed,but a smal droplet was twinklng around d corner.tht didnt afect d moon though,but thr was slightly less grace tht usd to adorn her.d silenc too ws scared n shivrng,d nyt ws damp for her pains.every1 knew he wnt come bak again.he ws gone forever.leavng her behind wth d everlastng darkness.a faint sound of a calm ocean,which lost its roar in respect, to her feelngs.jst sum splashs of watr,washng her irrepairable sins.d whole eternity lamenting for few more breaths she was left with to breathe.is thr nethng left to care for?is thr nethng left to feel?

Band hi rehne do akhe..
bhale hi toote khwabo ke tukde kitne bhi chubhte rahe..
Kahi firse kisi parchhai ko dekh kar mann ghabra na jae..
Kahi firse koi nukila patthar uchhal kar chot na pahuncha jae..
Kitne din,kitni raato..se bhagenge..kaha tak jaenge..
Kamsekam akho se sagar chhalkenge to nahi..jab kadam ladkhadaenge..
Band hi rehne do akho ko..kahi koi ummeed ki kiran akho ko lal na kar de..
Kahi kisi ke mann ki aag akho me dhuan na bhar de..
Wakt ke kadmo ki thokare ab aur nahi khani..
Yaado ki dhool me ghisatkar ab nahi zindgi bitani..
Garam akhe naram palko ko jab tak pighla na de..
Kamsekam kuchh pal band akho ke andhere kaid kar le..
Band hi rehne do akhe..
bhale hi toote khwabo ke tukde kitne bhi chubhte rahe..

dhuan ..

Bas dhuan hai.jalta dhuan.
Meri gunguni palko se pighalta dhuan.
ek udas sham sa dhalta dhuan.
bin soye anginat raate chalta dhuan.
khwabo ke bikhre tukdo par fisalta dhuan.
dard ki chattano se takrakar uchhalta dhuan.
bas dhuan hai.jalta dhuan.
beete lamho ki chita se nikalta dhuan.
mann ke sailabo me gir gir kar sambhalta dhuan.
kuch ansuni cheekhe sunta dhuan.
kuch sookhi boonde bunta dhuan.
mere chand ki parchhai se lipta hua.
ek ek pal tanhai ka ginta hua.
bas dhuan hai..jalta dhuan

Its nyt again
d same old dreadful phase
Moist air,but not a single drop of rain
Murderous solitude and darkness
Bleeding memories and floating pain
Numb moon and a known disguised face
Emptiness.. all around
But a heart full of disgrace
I miss those times mom,wen I used to hug u n cry
Its been long my eyes slept during such nights
Im lost mom,hide me in u once again
This world kills me,i can no more endure this pain
I must have done sumthing terribly wrong
Which is why u brought me to life
Please help me sleep for sumtym mom,i dont wish nemore to b alive

bas kisi raat ki mohtaj
hai zindgi
kuchh toote hue khwab
hai zindgi
nam palko me kayi bikhri yaade
ek jali hui kitaab
hai zindgi

once lived a green tree
happy and young
but a leaf
thought 'ts been caged
broke away
resisting the flowing wind
flew north n south
accustomed and habituated
the pain now
gradually sinking in
breath gradually dampening
twas alone and lost
dried and broke
what has it lost
what has it lost..

there was a face in my dream
a face i was well aware of
it looked dreadful
blood stained
as if its the most cruel face on earth
it was ugly and painful
and it had a glimpse of the entire burnt history
the remains of those burns were still on the face
melting down slowly
there were two silent eyes soulless and numb
they had no complains, and no expectations
just balls of stone
gazing without a blink
hiding inside a guilt feeling
a treacherous murderous character
God of emotional slaughters
theres no way that I can now prove my truth and purity
I wish I had not seen my real self so consciously

she was here again
this time disguised in white
as if i dont know her
as if she could hide herself
from my sight
even if she doesnt let me know
it shows from the warm drops
around the eyes
every time she comes
it makes me realize
however she may try to hide
her darkness peeps from inside
and encapsulates me
in the deapth of
her silent and serene night
when we walk over the thorns of emotions
bleeding in pain
sinking in,to become a parasite
but then she just leaves
leaving me and my burns behind
it grows each moment
making numb with every stride
in the end just a few stained marks remain
in the emptiness where i reside

koi kya kisi ki chita jalaega

jeevan k panne to kabke jalkar raakh ho chuke

kabhi jin chitron par hame naaz hota tha

aaj wo sare din jal kar raat ho chuke

bas do palke hain jo ab bhi aakash me taron ki jhalak ki pyasi hain

shayad koi tara kisi din dharti par bhi gir jae

un bechari palkon ko bhi kahan pata hai ki akhein to kab ki beh chuki
bas ek akhri saans baaki hai

par afsos hai ki ye chand lamho ko sametne ke liye bhi kafi nahi

I saw her today
Her face had swollen hard
Her voice was shivering badly
N yet she wore a faint smile
I knew wat was going on in her heart
Its really difficult to sumtyms b wat u r not
N its helpless coz there isnt a way
There wud b people pointing fingers at u
As if u have done somethng u never even thought of
But uv already started long way back
N theres nothng which u can do to undo
Wat hapens, wen u want,yet u cant become blind to ur own feelings
Wen a day comes, n suddenly life takes away everything by surprise
Knowingly or unknowingly u become a victim of ur own cruelty
I did understand her
But this is d least I cud do
Life is not dependent on feelings
But its just some feelings which I cud ever give to you

Kal kuchh palo ne mere yaado ke shamiyane me dastak di
Kuchh nam, kuchh meethe, kuch bheene,aur kuch lal rang se lipte hue
Andar bulaya, saraha, pyar se unhe panah di
Unme se kuchh pal ab tak dard se tadap rahe the
Un palo ki aanch ab tak bujhi nahi thi
Ye wahi pal the jinhone kuchh zindgiya jala di thi
Jane kyu kuchh zindgiya bhulayin nahi ja pati
Jane kyu in palo ki lapte unhe nigal nahi jati
Rakh ho chuke ehsaso ki kashish ab tak in palo ki tapish me nazar ati hai
Meri raat na jane kyu in palo ki takiya ban jati hai
Kab hogi wo raat jab andhera savera ban jaega
Kabtak yuhi mera ateet meri yaado k shamiyane ko jalaega
Kuchh kadam to aise bhi chal le meri zindgi
Jiski yaad se zakhmi na ho koi bhi aane wali khushi

i feel so lost n helpless
every time i hear your voice
soon it wont sound painful
and the stormy winds would pass by
you wont lose anything
n i never had anything to lose
i couldnt even tell you what i owe you
before you decided what not to choose
it was just me from the starting till the end
who failed to comprehend
lying and playing with mud
it was me always who couldnt understand
its not the earth or earthly things
its about the soul and the feelings
but now it has been carved on the palm of my hands
i was a stone,and now want to be the dust
for the pain you went through couldnt make me bleed enough
all i want to wish now is my breath no longer lasts
for its time for me to repay for my past
wonder if i knew you ever
still you were my own, but now no more

They say its a happy new year
But wat has changed
Sumtyms it really kills me
I dont understand y every1 has gone so insane
Who needs a new year,wasnt d last one painful enough?
There r people dying on d roads,does ne1 bothers to feel their pain?
I just dont want to hear my inner silence
It screams n mourns every second
It burns my soul alive and bleeds
Does it matter its hell or heaven
What have I made of me
N y is it me who wants to care
It chokes my heart,i can never show how much it means
How much I need u,d luv that uv never seen
I dont wana dream about a happy life anymore
Im just happy drowning in this pain
I dont need blessings or wishes anymore
I wana silently die today in this rain

Come on you old bastard, look you came again
You think you'll hide your self in darkness, but I can clearly see your ugly face
You scoundrel, why do you always love killing my dreamz
Is it my pain you enjoy d most, or is it my agony
Why do you love to see me trampled over
What have i done to you that makes you so cruel to me
You know i would never budge in front of you
I would never do what you want me to do
Even if the guilt kills me, i am ready to face it
But the sins i have committed, i would never erase it
I know the purpose you came for, but this time you'd go empty handed
Ill not let you tear my soul and leave me stripped and stranded
Go away, leave me alone and numb
I am just happy reaping the dead memories

kuchh purani si boli hai shayad isme
kuchh suni sunai si bhasha
pyar ka ambaar chhupa hua hai isme
aur phhootti kaliyo ki nayi zindgi ki abhilasha
ae mann,kyu hai udaas
aakhir kyu hai tere antah me nirasha
khul ja,ud ja,behek le thoda
jaan le,maan le,bas yahin hai zindgi ka kinara
uchak ke chhu le apna akaash
akela nahi tu,sari srishti hai tere paaas

Breath by breath

There are so many different faces of me

n i see myself in so many different faces
yet not even one is complete
not even one belongs to my individuality
in every loss i gain so many faces
in every gain i win so much pain
there is none which encapsulates
none where this sequence would end
the cycle is on, breath by breath
just counting, until my death

Fwd: wierd

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: manas prakash <prakashmanas@gmail.com>
Date: 2010/9/21



silence in the dark
i just listen to my own heart beat
no voice reaches me
i am lost in my own company
no ray of light surrounds me
no fresh air around me
succumbing to my own destiny
lying deserted in a painful dream
i don't want anyone to hold me
no cushiony blankets to behold me
just wanna be lost in its wilderness till eternity

silence in the dark
listening to the crying sky
hearing the moon singing a mournful lullaby
lost for ever in their company
the starry night surrounds me
its damp breath around me
succumbing to my own destiny
lying deserted in a painful dream
i wish my solitude holds me
the cushiony blanket of eternal sleep beholds me
just wanna be lost in its wilderness till eternity

silence in the dark
listening to my soul flying away on dreamy wings
death singing a soothing lullaby
to steal me forever in its company
the stars and the night pulling away from my sight
vacuum benumbing my feeble fight
lying comfortably in a drowsy dream
there's no word or reason, now that i need
the cushiony blanket of peace beholds me
im lost forever in the eternity..

it seems we have been walking together since ages but never knew
it seems i never knew friendship, the kind i found in you
i was lost n lying in the shadows,
watching the night drowsing the sea shore,
never realized when you came and painted my world
you just stood beside,
hugged me tight,
held my finger and twirled
i never saw life in such a beautiful way
you rekindled that fire to live,
n told me so simply - "this feeling is here to stay"
now i see my life romancing with time
i could hear my heart, n all its melancholy rhymes
you gave me world which i had lost long ago
i wish i could thank you, n wish i could let you know..
but instead, i wish to give you a lot more than this
i wish to make your life more beautiful than an "eternal bliss"
thank you for being..

time n again the same wounds resurface
some sounds which had clung on to my ears when i was there
some moments which i forgot by the roadside where we used to walk
some words which are still unsaid
i no longer, am the man who i was
all said n done n its never gonna be the same again
some more dreams n some more pain

if i write would you like to read how vulnerable ive become..
there was a time when you used to walk beside me n everything seemed to become alright..
but what now? its ultimate dark n im walking all alone..naked n numb..
there would be people laughing at me n mocking me..
they would beat me..hurt me..bleed me..
n i would just keep on walking as i have to..aimless n lost..
this would go on perhaps till every single drop of blood in my body would trickle down my cheeks..n you would just see
no one would ever remember the days that have gone..
none of them would ask where is that reverence wheres that faith now..
would just a faint smile be enough to determine the death of a few memories..