im quitting blogging for a few days..
let new thoughts come in..
let me catch fresh breath..
let my mind n my mood set in for a change..
past has overshadowed my present..
i dont want it to cage my future..
let me find new words..new songs..new life..
let me overcome this feeling of dissatisfaction..
let this helplessness cease..
let me find new means to live life..
enough of moh..
enough of sentiments..
let me get to ground now..n do something for myself..
amen !!

Kisi ko paiso ki talash hai
Kisi ko rishto ki talash hai
Koi khushiyo ki talash me hai
To kisi ko sapno ki talash hai
Par aaj ki duniya me na kisi ko khud ki talash hai
Na hi apno ki talash hai
Har kisi ke mann me ghrana hai
Har kisi se tulna hai
Ghamand hai, nasha hai
Asthir, ashant dasha hai
Koi mahatma hai
To koi sarvshreshtha buddhimaan
Koi azam bana phir raha hai
To koi vishwa vikhyat keertimaan
Har koi prasiddhi ka kayal hai
Prem bhaav, sansarik manyatao se ghayal hai
Shri Krishna aur Mohammed sahib ki ibaadat
Mahetvaheen hokar ban gayi hai nafrat
Bhagwan Isa Maseeh ki sahejta, ekroopta
Ko ab log samajhte hain hukumat
Har ghar me chhida hua hai andolan
Har mod pe hai ek nayi jehad
Kaun manta hai wafadari ko ab
Hai pak mohabbat ab kisko yaad
Kabhi aise bhi dil hote the
Jo zara si baat par mit jane ko hote the tayyar
Jo zaban par jaan chhidakne ka rakhte the jigar
Jo chhote se jhoot se bhi hote the sharmsaar
Jo kabhi vada nibhaya karte the umrabhar
Ab kisko parwah hoti hai zaban ki
Kisko phursat hoti hai sochne ki jahaan ki
Har cheez ka matlab hi badal gaya hai
Sarvjanik shoshan ka chalan chal gaya hai
Phir bhi, kuchh to hoga hi ki ham ab bhi jee rahe hain
Na kisi ki talash hai, na kisi se koi shikayat
Na kisi baat ka ghamand, na koi bhi aur chaahat
Jiye ja rahe hain bas…
Jeeta rahenge kuchh din aur..

Lurve

When two bodies attract each other so much, that their minds, as a part of body, tries to become one, then we call that feeling sometimes as love. Each one of us feels that the same feeling which all of us have, is actually different for every one of us. Huh. What an irony. N this is not actually created by man. Its eternal. The reason being, all of us feel, that we have a different kind of mindset, a very different kind of thinking, yet we don’t realize, that our manufacturer is the same. Huh. We have same kind of essence that all others, of us have. N yet we are different from each other. This is called an eternal irony. Hehe.
Love, is just a feeling that is common to all of us. Whether we know someone or not, whether we are linked to someone or not, the feeling that comes to our heart at that time, for that person, is nothing, but form of love. We have love for everyone, known or unknown. Just that we have a human tendency to compartmentalize it. To divide it, into many forms n relations. But in this process, we actually forget the actual love. The actual process, the actual feeling. We just live to satisfy ourselves, n to meet the needs of society around us. Till the time our position in society is maintained. We even sometimes love, only to live upto the expectations that society around us has of us. What a shame. We lose our own identity in the hands of that society, which belongs to no one, which can do no good to anyone. N above all of this, we have become so inhumane, that we don’t even think of our own selves. We don’t have time to think who we are. We just go on living, just to live. It hardly matters no.
For me it does. I want to know what love is. I want to love. But not the way that society wants me to. I want to love, the way, my heart tells me to. Irrespective of the known unknown boundation. Irrespective of expectations. N irrespective of any third person or the society. I just wana be me. I just wana be everyone around me. N I wana experience the oneness, that I have with everyone around me, that God has, with all of us.

Aaj phir tumhari khushi yaad aa gayi
Jiske liye maine din raat koshish ki
Jiske liye meri khud ki zindagi mujhse khafa ho gayi
Zindagi ko mana bhi leta mai magar
Apne hi astitva se lad kar kaise beetta ye safar
Aaj bhi, bas yehi dua hai mann me
Tum khush raho, mile khoob khushi tumhe jeevan me
Mai nahi janta mujheme kuchh alag hai ya nahi
Mai nahi janta ki maine jo kiya wo sach tha ya nahi
Maine bas wo kiya, jo sachche pyar me karna chahiye
Maine wo kiya, jo mai khud shayad apne bare me nahi soch sakta
Aisi shakhsiyat nahi meri
Ki mai itne oonche darje tak pahuchu
Mai bas ek aam insan hu
Mai bas khushi baatna chahta hu
Tumhe kabhi na bhi pata chale agar
Raah dekhengi tumhara, meri nazar
Mujhe nahi farak padta chaahe jo bhi soche ye falak
Zameen ab bhi meri hai, aur sath rahegi mere marne tak.

Chhodna mat koi hasrat adhoori
Jane zindagi aage ho na ho poori
Jane phir ye din aye na aye
Jane kab ban jaye tanhayee majburi

Zindagi se koi shikayat nahi hai tumhare bina bhi
Pehle bhi kahan rukta tha samay tumhare hone ke ehsas se
Ab bhi nahi rukta tumhare na hone ke gham me
Jo shuru hui hai to khatam bhi hogi zindagi
Kuchh lamhe sath bita liye, ab thoda jee le tumhare bina bhi
Log bahot kuchh kehte rahenge
Hazaro lakho sapne aakho se behte rahenge
Sapno ka kya hai, sapne hi to hain
Kabhi ham, to kabhi wo hamse roothte rahenge
Jo na keh sake, shayad wo jayaz nahi tha kehna bhi
Jo tum na samjhe, shayad na ho wo bhi sahi
Ham phir bhi tumhare liye nazre bichhaye rakhenge
Kya pata ho aise jeena mushkil tumhare liye bhi

When you see the same thing with both open n closed eyes
When you find it difficult to realize the reality
When vacuum which was never there comes to existence
When breathlessness becomes the state of being
When shadows n darkness become comforting friends
When emotions associate more with silent feelings
When eyes feel more solace in closure
When inner silence gives way to restless buzzing
Know that you are in an irreparable pain
Know that time has won again

Ek samay tha, jab hawae kitni achhi lagti thi
Jab pedo ki har ek tehni yu hi hawao me behti rehti thi
Jab behti hui hawao me pattiya kitni khil jati thi
Phool muskurate the, bhavre natya dikhate the
Aur hawa kitna ithlati thi

Har ek pal, uski yaad behti chali aati thi
Har doosre pal kuchh batane ki ichha jag jati thi
Mann soch soch ke thahake bharta tha
Kabhi shaitaniya, to kabhi meethi meethi bate karne ka dil karta tha
Aur meri sari soch hawa me ghul jati thi

Kitne sapne inhi hawao me gulatiya khaya karte the
Patango ki tarah umange bhi shikhar par pahuch jati thi
Do parinde kahi paas me sath baithe aksar dikhte the
Kitne muskurate chehre aksar milte the
Hawae bhi hamari zaheeni khushi bikherti thi

Hawae ab bhi hain, Ham ab bhi hain
Par ab hamara rukh hawa ki taraf nahi
Aur hawao ka ehsas ab hame pata nahi
Hamara astitva khud hi hawa ban chuka hai ab
Jo tha kabhi, ab hai jaise wo tha hi nahi

We are still beautiful
However we may be
Near or far
Together or separated
We can never transform our oneness
To nothingness
There was always love
N it would always be
Even if not welcomed by you or me
Whatever they say
Whatever they want us to do
N whatever we do
Wont matter
Its already done
Proved experienced n carved
We cant change what we cant change
We never created it
We were never the cause of its decease
N we can never be a part of its death
We can just play with its innocence
We can just hurt its purity
We cant terminate its existence
We are beautiful
Coz love is beautiful
N we would remain so
Even if our existence ceases

Life is not a dream
Its not a tailor made caravan of moments
Its not an ice cream garnished with extra chocolate sauce n cherry on top
You got to fight it every moment
When you don’t have your desires
You got to fight to achieve
When you have your desires
You got to fight to maintain
N when you lose your desires
You got to fight to survive
N all these time, you got to fight to know who you are
So that you can know what your desire is
Just fight fight fight fight ..
Nothing else is coming to my sight, describing life
N after all those fights even
What we get is loss
Loss of time, loss of energy
N in some cases loss of money too
But I don’t have strength to fight now
I gave in my best to fight for a thing which I love the most
N when I won, that thing didn’t like me
So where am I now
Again in a line of contenders to fight
N this time, to fight for a thing which I don’t even desire
At last I wana give up this fight now
What am I fighting for
N with whom am I fighting for
Fighting in itself means killing love
N my enemy with whom I fight, is also love
N the thing which I am fighting for is love
Which in turn I am actually not even getting at the end of the fight
So what am I doing except for wasting my time energy n money
The only three quantitative measures of humans
It seems, life is actually not made to be won
When it seems tailor made, it certainly gives failure
When it seems to be won by fight, the result is again a failure
N when it seems to be won by time, time again, gives failure
Whether it be time energy or money, it can never help us win life
So let me not try to achieve what cant be achieved in life
Let me be just a helpless merciful being

zinda hu abhi..

Kisi ranjish ko hawa do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Samay ke beetne se ghaav bhi bhar jaenge
Koi aur ghaav bana do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Aur bhi hausla baki hai abhi
Thoda aur dard pila do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Teri tasveer zehn me abhi bhi hai basi
Thodi aur aag laga do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Dooriya jitni bhi ayi sab mit gayi
Faasle aur badha do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Abhi bhi bahot baki hai khud pe yakeen
Meri pehchan mita do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Aise bhi log hote hain
Itne bhole bhale, itne seedhe sadhe
Bewakoof
Ye bhi nahi samajh pate ki kaun sirf dikhawa kar raha hai
aur kaun sachcha
jo chaahe unko apni ungliyo pe nacha le
aur wo, sab jaante hue bhi bante rehte hain
chalte rehte hain apni hi parchaiyo ke peechhe
bante rehte hain kitne logo ka mazaak
aise bhi log hote hain
jinko koi pharak nahi padta
jo apni hi hasi pe khud hi haste hain
kitni bhi baar chot kha le
aise log jo har kisi ko apne se bhi zada kareeb samajh le
aur yakeen ho jane par bhi na mane
ki unka bharosa kisi ne tod diya
is kism ke logo ka koi bharosa nahi hota
aaj wo agar kisi ke dard me doobe hue hain
to kal wo phir usi ke ird gird chakkar kaatte nazar aenge
ek baar se mann kaha bharega
isliye ek hi galti saikdo baar dohraenge
samajhte hain unse bada gyaani aur daani mahatma koi nahi
par yehi log hote hain, jo apni hi baato pe tik nahi paate
apne hi vachano pe mit nahi paate
bas khokhle ghade ki tarah bajte rehte hain
thokar khate rehte hain, phir chalte rehte hain

kyu kuchh na kuchh roz mujhe usi daldal me dhakel deta hai
kyu ateet roz mere aaj ko jhinjhod deta hai, zaleel karta hai
chhod do mujhe mere haal pe, nahi chahiye mujhe tumhari santvana
thak gaya hu mai, jo bhi pal aata hai, kyu wahi mere astitva se khel leta hai

You have a contaminated smell today dear friend
People have disgraced your purity
By sucking each other’s mouth
By rubbing n holding those sweaty hands
By spitting n throwing the garbage just wherever they may find
They have transfused their stinks to your perfume
For them it was just a valentine’s day
Even those roses they exchanged couldn’t lighten the atmosphere
But then, their behavior was understandable
Obviously, after all they are humans
But what happened to you
Your eternally fresh attitude
Or is it that with time, you too have changed
You now love to play with skirts, rather than blowing into faces, is it?
Or maybe, you just take advantage of western clothing
Like everyone else on the marine drive does
May be that’s the only alternative you have to love Gods most beautiful creation
But then, you have changed dear friend
People still crave for your freshness
People crave for you to wipe away their stress, fear, anxiety n all worries
People love to feel your calmness on their face when they are happy
Dear friend, what we regard as beautiful, is just an imaginary attraction
When reality strikes, your own assets worth much more than those illusions
Your freshness, your calmness, is much more expensive
Drowse me in your real essence
Let me blow away in the wind

Kaise reh lete honge itne dino tak chup
Ye khamoshi khokhla nahi kar deti hogi zehn ko
Kitni sari baate andar hi andar khati hongi
Purane jane kitni yaado ko, zakhmo ko, quredti hongi
Kya ehsas nahi hota
Shayad dil bhi patthar ban jaata hoga
Zara si thokar se zamana ghoomta dikhne lagta hai
Na jane pal pal marna kaisa hota hoga
Zameeni zaheeni sachchaiyo ka saamna karna
Roz zindagi se kuchh der aur jeene ke liye ladna
Kaisa hota hoga wo har pal
Jisme aatma tak nangi dikhti hogi
Jisme bebasi aur lachari gher leti hogi
Kab tak saath deta hoga ye shareer aur mann bhi
Jawab de deti hogi dhadkan bhi
Khud ki awaz kisi bhi tarah sunayi na deti hogi
Kaisi hogi wo zindagi
Kaisi hogi wo bebasi

As time goes by,I miss not much those things
Which causes hurt n pain when to think.
The same stabilization must be there at the other end.
This thought gives me more faith to apprehend.
Though the hollowness n helplessness to lose against time,
Would not be convalesced so easily n so early.
After all recovering from a loss needs time,
N when the loss is time itself,
Recovering would further mean losing time.
In every way, still losing against time.

Im in love

Im in love with Gods wittiest creation, humans
Thinking’s that petrify their minds
Situations which vitrify the hearts
Some who change with time
Some remain unchanged, satisfied, with their losses
Drowning in ones own tears sometimes
Some unknown of own feelings
N a few having heart as sublime as a shrine
Im awed to feel like every individual
I want to be every single one
Rich/poor, healthy/sick, job/jobless, old/young, woman/man,
honest/dishonest ,true/fake, theist/atheist,sensible/mad, just any one
I want to be a free soul, which dwells in every single human
If I succeed, I know I will know, every aspect of Gods love
There are other ways too, but I just love the way of love
Let me just be in love
I cant stop being what I am
This is what I am

I lost vicinity of my best times, even after losing so much time, battling against time. I wish I could go back in time, n undo all the time that I have lost, fighting against time. But I cant stop losing time.

Hey, what about those similarities you had
Those special coincidences, or if u say, serendipity
Do you still believe that signs exist
Do you still believe they form a part of so called loves nitty-gritty
Is life really a dream
To be walked on a path of instincts n intuitions
Or is it just another matter of complexity
What would your next step be
Would you still follow the rules that you made
Or would you lose yourself to the situational gravity
Old memories cant be re-written
Neither can new incidents replace them with alacrity
Caught in an unending maze my friend
Now tell me, can you solve it with the same simplicity n modesty
Its tough to go back on words
And going with words, you’ve lost completely
Live with it, n live tough.

dim lit moon..

Did you see the moon today mann
Looking at us with his faint eyes
Dimly lit, as if tired, of moving for so long
Did you feel his helplessness
As if there’s so much to say
Yet no words, or no strength to voice his thoughts
Mann, did you still experience the calmness around its halo
The eternal peace that surrounds it
Even if the spirit is gloomy, the air still breathes fresh
Making you realize mann, your heaviness wouldn’t portray up till your breath
The celebrations have ceased
So have those olden times
Its been a long day
An everlasting memory
“Sleep in my warm n soothing lap”, the moon says
A new day waits to dawn
Let your mind be an empty sky
Make space for the first rays of tomorrow to illuminate with the colors of life
Let go the holes mann , don’t delve, don’t
Don’t look for the pain n hurt
“It doesn’t matter mann”, she said once
It actually doesn’t matter . .