The solitary conversation

Sanchita wrote :

Getting on the bus home with two other friends after a hard day at college was a relief. I chose to sit alone on the inside of the twin seats near the window. Looking out I saw a variety of people. From black to white, like colors. The sky was harsh yellow with the afternoon sun and possibility of rain was nil.

Just as the bus was about to pull out, a thin dingy figure came and sat next to me. She had the most remarkable features. Dark and crinkled hairs were falling out of her braided plait. And she wore black. Her eyes were hidden behind black sunshades and she clutched a navy blue bag. I had been strictly told not to start a conversation with a stranger so I kept my silence. I was startled when a deep voice said hello to me.

Regaining my composure (I had actually expected a squeak of a voice), I also responded. That initiated the conversation which was mostly from her side. Talking about what I was doing, to my hobbies and if I had ever been abroad, she asked every question that must have come to her mind. Now after a hard day of attending lectures I was in no mood for a conversation.

But her enthusiasm kept increasing. She kept talking and I listening. Now I am a sort of a person who has a wild imagination. She was clutching her bag tightly and the fact that she never took off her glasses scared me.

What if she was a terrorist and there is a bomb in her bag. I had almost half the mind to get of getting up and getting off the bus.

I still don't know what stopped me...

The conversation shifted to the cost of living abroad and its comparison to India . I showed interest at this and started telling her the positives and negatives of both living in India and abroad. And how I lived there and what I ate and all..

She sat there looking deeply interested and then she told me how it is her dream to go abroad, but she is assimilating money at the moment. Now my thoughts shifted to her character and my moral alarm went off. But thinking better I thought not to jump onto conclusions.

Most of the time she kept looking out of the window, but she never took her glasses off as if they were the most treasured piece of jewelry that she had ever owned. She also sat in an awkward position, something like a prenatal baby.

Thinking that she was scared of traveling alone, I offered her the inner seat which she gratefully accepted. The bus rolled by on the hot scorching streets of Delhi . The journey resumed its silence once more. I was thankful. My thoughts had already shifted to home and the lunch that awaited there. The assignments to be submitted...

You are beautiful she suddenly said. I was taken aback. I thanked her. No other words came to me.

I felt bad about ignoring her all this while. Going back on the entire conversation that I had with this stranger sitting next to me, I thought how one sided it had sounded. She never meant anything bad and maybe was just lonely.

The stop came and I and my friends got down the bus. Giving one last look, as the bus rolled by, I bade farewell to a stranger who called me beautiful.

Sanchita Sahay

Identity and Personality

Ganoba wrote :

At birth we receive the gift of an identity (asmita). Identity is about whom we are and the purpose for which we have been born. The circumstances of our birth; the time and place of birth, the family and community in which we are born, the kind of body we have received
etc can be useful pointers of our identity. They are not determinants of identity but only its indicators. Thus if we are born into a Brahmin family we are not Brahmins. We may at best have the potential to be one. It is true about any other creed, profession, ethnicity or nationality. Children born anywhere do grow with ease in any other setting. They, however, retain an urge to find out about their roots. This seems to indicate that the circumstances of our birth have some basic relationship with our identity.

In the process of growing up we have to interact with our environment. In doing so, we have to make choices at every step of the journey. The nature of choices we make determines what we become, the personality (vyaktimatva) we develop. When we are very young, others make choices on our behalf. Later they help us to make these choices. Some families and communities continue to make life choices on behalf of the individual stunting natural development. In the process, many people turn rebels and make reactive choices. Many of the choices, which are determined by out dated societal standards are such that the personality develops in a way not congruent with the identity, a situation ripe for inner conflict.
Personality is like a shell and identity is like the core. When the shell does not match the core there is a lot of noise and confusion. In the rare instances when they are congruent we see genius at work. Such a person acts with natural ease and grace. Such people are clear about who they are and what their mission in life is. We have quite a few instances of people who at a very young age know who they are and what their mission in life is. They are able to withstand the pressure of the immediate family to pursue their life goal.
What about the vast majorities who are swallowed by family tradition and end up living life in conflict and confusion? What about those who are lost and keep drifting from pillar to post? Is their no redemption for them? Of course there is. I was one such lost soul and have managed to find my natural bearings. I know many others who have done so. It has been my privilege to help many others to make the turn around towards their true being. I can, therefore say with
certainty that all is not lost.

Initially the turn around is like standing on the head and appears impractical and impossible. But I can assure you that it is possible, progressively enjoyable and graceful. We need to find a guide who is clear in mind, firm in practice and compassionate. He/she would continually urge us to look inwards and be guided by what appears on the mind screen. He/she would urge us to try out suggestions and look for results of our actions, both outside and inside. He/she would
invite us to share our findings with other co-travelers. This process sets up a learning spiral, which will eventually and surely lead us to our real self, our true identity. This will also ensure that our worldly persona would be congruent with the core ending all conflict and confusion.
If I can be of any help in this journey I would be honoured to do so.

Ganoba
A co-traveler

The Way

Whenever someone performs a noble deed, an act that softens the heart, opens the mind, brings a lump in the throat and moistens the eyes, we say he/she went out of the way to do it. I have often wondered, if doing a noble act is going out of the way then what is the way? Is living a blinkered existence the way? Living like a pre-programmed robot, unable to take into account
emerging reality, is that the way? Single mindedly (or is it mindlessly) working to make a living, to make money, chasing after notional success and the approval of faceless others, is that the
way? It was prescribed as the way but in reality it was a maze in which I was left chasing my tail. It is all a play of Maya.

I have lived this way for many years and experienced the ennui of it, the vacuous ness, the edginess, and the meaninglessness. It provides a cosmetic glory for a while but the after taste of guilt, of missing the bus, of being lost, saps the soul of its vitality, of a sense of purpose. It has taken me hours of toil to get out of the maze and find the way. In retrospect the struggle too, was an illusion. What was happening was a process of finding the cheese, away from the one that was placed there in the maze by someone else who was having a ball at my expense.

Slowly but surely I stopped paying attention to the signals coming from out there, the market place. For a while I felt clueless. Worse was the sense of being valueless. It felt as if all my senses had gone numb. I had no clue of what was out there. I had to literally grope for my way. Gradually a light appeared at the end of the tunnel. I soon realized that this was also an illusion. There was no tunnel and no light at the end of it. Gradually it dawned that I was the tunnel and I was the light, that there was no beginning and no end. There was no going anywhere and no coming from somewhere. There was no journey. There was no way. This is it.

When the sages say Aham Bramh Asmi, are they referring to this state of being?

Ganoba

a blog to an eminent media figure

Dear Sir,
I am a student of engineering in Delhi.I really admire your work,your stamina,your energy,your style.Its not been long since I have started going through your blogs,and i am already so much inspired by you.But sir,my expectations from you range a little more further.In the sense to say,sir,its people like you who can change the mindset of the coming generations.Don’t you think so that you have powers to inspire people to walk in a different and positive direction in their lives.Talking about crime and ways of crime on TV would just enhance crime.It would just make people aware of the methodologies.Instead,if we talk about things which are spreading peace,for example “seva cafe” in ahmedabad or for instance say “CRY”,wont it be a better way to inspire people.
Daily in newspapers we read about the crime around us.Don’t you feel that every person who reads the newspaper or articles relating to that,is getting affected.For example if there is an article on road rage,our brain is so accustomed that we start imagining the whole episodes in our minds.And hence we start thinking that ways.Suppose there is some article on racial discrimination,people start visualizing themselves.Don’t you feel,sir,that being such a prominent figure in media,you should come out on TV publically to speak on these kind of issues.Nowadays,in the international section,everyday we read about how every country is buying new weapons,on the name of safety.I feel,these nations are just preparing for war.They are just getting ready.And the day that even one country provokes it,the whole world would be destroyed.
I know sir,that you do try to bring a change.I know the system,and i know that we are all just a part of it.Just wanted to share it with you.May be that there is something that you can do.Thank you for your time…

khuda kay liye..

khuda kay liye kuchh aisa karo,
ke har khuda ka banda jee uthe,
ki har chehre pe muskan ho,
ki har banda khul ke jee sake,
na koi darr,na ranjish,
na koi mann motav,na bandish,
kuchh aisa ki sab ek ho jae,
har dharm,har jaati,har mazhab,
ek hi rab me samaaye,
khuda ke liye kuchh aisa karo,
ki dard ho samne wale ko,
to mehsus hame ho,
ki hamara pyar rang roop na dekhe,
na hi pyar ki koi bhi seema ho,
insan paiso ki jagah pyar ke peechhe daude,
aur pyar hi sabse keemti daulat ho.
kuchh aisa karo khuda ke liye..

culture and choices

can we allow our son/daughter to choose whatever he/she wants to wear.if yes then why.we are parents.we are responsible for what he/she wears.we are responsible for making our wards look pretty/handsome.for making them wearing things which could reflect us in them.which could reflect our culture in them.what is culture....culture is a well established phenomenon followed by the then society.
so what is culture according to me.culture is tehzeeb according to me.for childrens,it is to follow the ethics that could reflect that culture.like for example wearing a suit.which is made for girls.which is designed since so many ages.
but nowadays we wear western outfits.should we allow??....atleast we can groom up our daughters/sons to be how we want to see them....we can put values n sanskar in them since beginning so that they like wearing such clothes....so that they give more preference to such clothes....n y shouldnt they...they reflect our culture....when we are teaching them basic ethics.....for eg-to uphold their respect,to behave decently,why dont we give them our cultures ethics too....of wearing clothes that reflect our culture....n if we dont say then who will....they are not going to have a dream about it......n if we say that ok...we leave them upto their choice....wont our culture be pulled back.....even if one starts wearing jeans...just out of attraction many would start....n then culture would convert into craze.....fashion.....but cant fashion come in suits...it does....like sleeveless....n all kinds of different tops n lowers.....so what is culture...n where is it.....in hands of whom.....
if i belong to lucknow,is that a crime.....if i try to put culture in my son/daughter by telling her to wear salwar suits,rather than jeans...or kurta paijama in case of boys.am i doing a crime...
or would u say that culture in itself is not right....culture needs to change....if it is so....then what about the ethics...how is there a way to control....for eg...there was a time when love marriage was considered a bane...but now its common....you can see girls openly going out with guys n doing all sorts of things....hasnt the culture corrupted then?shouldnt we maintain it to prevent further advancements....or should we leave everything..should we leave it upto their choice....
the same question.....should we influence their choice...or should we just let them make their choice...
if we let them make their choices.....wont the culture go in wrong hands.....its said one wrotten fish spoils the whole tank....wont it come true...
upto u to decide now....
comfort or culture??
culture or fashion??
culture or independence??
independence or experience of our elders??
our own choices...or choices of those more experienced by us??