zinda hu abhi..

Kisi ranjish ko hawa do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Samay ke beetne se ghaav bhi bhar jaenge
Koi aur ghaav bana do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Aur bhi hausla baki hai abhi
Thoda aur dard pila do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Teri tasveer zehn me abhi bhi hai basi
Thodi aur aag laga do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Dooriya jitni bhi ayi sab mit gayi
Faasle aur badha do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Abhi bhi bahot baki hai khud pe yakeen
Meri pehchan mita do ki mai zinda hu abhi
Mujhko ehsas dila do ki mai zinda hu abhi

Aise bhi log hote hain
Itne bhole bhale, itne seedhe sadhe
Bewakoof
Ye bhi nahi samajh pate ki kaun sirf dikhawa kar raha hai
aur kaun sachcha
jo chaahe unko apni ungliyo pe nacha le
aur wo, sab jaante hue bhi bante rehte hain
chalte rehte hain apni hi parchaiyo ke peechhe
bante rehte hain kitne logo ka mazaak
aise bhi log hote hain
jinko koi pharak nahi padta
jo apni hi hasi pe khud hi haste hain
kitni bhi baar chot kha le
aise log jo har kisi ko apne se bhi zada kareeb samajh le
aur yakeen ho jane par bhi na mane
ki unka bharosa kisi ne tod diya
is kism ke logo ka koi bharosa nahi hota
aaj wo agar kisi ke dard me doobe hue hain
to kal wo phir usi ke ird gird chakkar kaatte nazar aenge
ek baar se mann kaha bharega
isliye ek hi galti saikdo baar dohraenge
samajhte hain unse bada gyaani aur daani mahatma koi nahi
par yehi log hote hain, jo apni hi baato pe tik nahi paate
apne hi vachano pe mit nahi paate
bas khokhle ghade ki tarah bajte rehte hain
thokar khate rehte hain, phir chalte rehte hain

kyu kuchh na kuchh roz mujhe usi daldal me dhakel deta hai
kyu ateet roz mere aaj ko jhinjhod deta hai, zaleel karta hai
chhod do mujhe mere haal pe, nahi chahiye mujhe tumhari santvana
thak gaya hu mai, jo bhi pal aata hai, kyu wahi mere astitva se khel leta hai

You have a contaminated smell today dear friend
People have disgraced your purity
By sucking each other’s mouth
By rubbing n holding those sweaty hands
By spitting n throwing the garbage just wherever they may find
They have transfused their stinks to your perfume
For them it was just a valentine’s day
Even those roses they exchanged couldn’t lighten the atmosphere
But then, their behavior was understandable
Obviously, after all they are humans
But what happened to you
Your eternally fresh attitude
Or is it that with time, you too have changed
You now love to play with skirts, rather than blowing into faces, is it?
Or maybe, you just take advantage of western clothing
Like everyone else on the marine drive does
May be that’s the only alternative you have to love Gods most beautiful creation
But then, you have changed dear friend
People still crave for your freshness
People crave for you to wipe away their stress, fear, anxiety n all worries
People love to feel your calmness on their face when they are happy
Dear friend, what we regard as beautiful, is just an imaginary attraction
When reality strikes, your own assets worth much more than those illusions
Your freshness, your calmness, is much more expensive
Drowse me in your real essence
Let me blow away in the wind

Kaise reh lete honge itne dino tak chup
Ye khamoshi khokhla nahi kar deti hogi zehn ko
Kitni sari baate andar hi andar khati hongi
Purane jane kitni yaado ko, zakhmo ko, quredti hongi
Kya ehsas nahi hota
Shayad dil bhi patthar ban jaata hoga
Zara si thokar se zamana ghoomta dikhne lagta hai
Na jane pal pal marna kaisa hota hoga
Zameeni zaheeni sachchaiyo ka saamna karna
Roz zindagi se kuchh der aur jeene ke liye ladna
Kaisa hota hoga wo har pal
Jisme aatma tak nangi dikhti hogi
Jisme bebasi aur lachari gher leti hogi
Kab tak saath deta hoga ye shareer aur mann bhi
Jawab de deti hogi dhadkan bhi
Khud ki awaz kisi bhi tarah sunayi na deti hogi
Kaisi hogi wo zindagi
Kaisi hogi wo bebasi

As time goes by,I miss not much those things
Which causes hurt n pain when to think.
The same stabilization must be there at the other end.
This thought gives me more faith to apprehend.
Though the hollowness n helplessness to lose against time,
Would not be convalesced so easily n so early.
After all recovering from a loss needs time,
N when the loss is time itself,
Recovering would further mean losing time.
In every way, still losing against time.

Im in love

Im in love with Gods wittiest creation, humans
Thinking’s that petrify their minds
Situations which vitrify the hearts
Some who change with time
Some remain unchanged, satisfied, with their losses
Drowning in ones own tears sometimes
Some unknown of own feelings
N a few having heart as sublime as a shrine
Im awed to feel like every individual
I want to be every single one
Rich/poor, healthy/sick, job/jobless, old/young, woman/man,
honest/dishonest ,true/fake, theist/atheist,sensible/mad, just any one
I want to be a free soul, which dwells in every single human
If I succeed, I know I will know, every aspect of Gods love
There are other ways too, but I just love the way of love
Let me just be in love
I cant stop being what I am
This is what I am

I lost vicinity of my best times, even after losing so much time, battling against time. I wish I could go back in time, n undo all the time that I have lost, fighting against time. But I cant stop losing time.

Hey, what about those similarities you had
Those special coincidences, or if u say, serendipity
Do you still believe that signs exist
Do you still believe they form a part of so called loves nitty-gritty
Is life really a dream
To be walked on a path of instincts n intuitions
Or is it just another matter of complexity
What would your next step be
Would you still follow the rules that you made
Or would you lose yourself to the situational gravity
Old memories cant be re-written
Neither can new incidents replace them with alacrity
Caught in an unending maze my friend
Now tell me, can you solve it with the same simplicity n modesty
Its tough to go back on words
And going with words, you’ve lost completely
Live with it, n live tough.

dim lit moon..

Did you see the moon today mann
Looking at us with his faint eyes
Dimly lit, as if tired, of moving for so long
Did you feel his helplessness
As if there’s so much to say
Yet no words, or no strength to voice his thoughts
Mann, did you still experience the calmness around its halo
The eternal peace that surrounds it
Even if the spirit is gloomy, the air still breathes fresh
Making you realize mann, your heaviness wouldn’t portray up till your breath
The celebrations have ceased
So have those olden times
Its been a long day
An everlasting memory
“Sleep in my warm n soothing lap”, the moon says
A new day waits to dawn
Let your mind be an empty sky
Make space for the first rays of tomorrow to illuminate with the colors of life
Let go the holes mann , don’t delve, don’t
Don’t look for the pain n hurt
“It doesn’t matter mann”, she said once
It actually doesn’t matter . .

HAppY AnNIVerSaRy Love

Love long lasted as we enjoyed
The best moments of our lives
On this day..
Long lasted the goodness
That spread along
As a feast to celebrate our oneness today
A wonderful tour to a dream land
Something unheard of, unseen, unimagined
Of which the beginning was made today

Today, sometime back in time
We celebrated our accepting becoming one
N today, in present, we accept the cause of a death
Of an eternal n immortal love
Eternal n immortal as it was, it would stay
Just, not in the same way
Happy Anniversary Love
Salute to all the times of togetherness

Plz don’t call me stupid

I know im not worth anything
I know, there have been times when I upheld nothing
I know nothing for me counts
In my life, money name fame, nothing sounds
Neither do I bear any exemplary values
Nor do I own any rich avenues
Im just a common man with the commonest dreams
N my life cannot always be perfect, it seems
I too love enjoying pleasures of life sometimes
I too yearn to flaunt my assets n dimes
But what I am not, I can never be
I will always be as naïve, as me
(In comparison there is none greater naïve than the me in me)
I fail to avail the chances which I get to prove myself
N it never matters for the rest of the times, they are just of no help
The things that I do differently, becomes no different at all
N I never manage to do anything that could enthrall
But I am not stupid
I just don’t know how to overcome this feeling of being flaccid
My emotions, which I considered to be my strength, are now demeaning me
My thoughts though still keep on supporting me strengthening me
I don’t know how, but I will fight it out
I won’t let my hands down, I’ll find a way to be heard, to be loud

a day gone by
lost again to the sky
tried my best
on minds behest
yet ended where i started
like everyday today also departed
sitting n planning again for tomorrow
lets hope, tomorrow would not be another sorrow
lets hope someday there would be a new today
a new sun would rise..n would stay
little by little time is slipping
gaining victory over my destiny
but as always, i am still waiting
for the end of this tyranny
either only i would survive
or ill realize, i never survived

phir awaz ayi thi uski
Wahi masoom si shehed si meethi
Abhi bhi wahi bachpana wahi chulbulapan tapakta hua
Jaise phir jane kitni shaitaniya panapne ja rahi ho
Jaise sham ke waqt me kisi ped pe baithi dher sari chidiya cheh-cheha rahi ho
Wo nakhre, wo adayein, wo jhoot moot ka gussa
Wo mamta bhara uska “dhobi ki ladki” ka kissa
Wo paer patak ke laad karane ka bahana
Wo har shaitani ke baad daato ke neeche zaban dabana
Aur bade hi pyar se muskana
Road ke bachcho ko mac donalds ka burger khilana
Roz mere ghar jaate waqt, mooh bana ke ek flying kiss hawa me udana
Bahot yaad aati hai
Wo mera ek khwab hi to hai
Ek khwab jo maine uske sath dekha tha
Ab wo iska hissa nahi to kya
Ab tak khwab me jiya hu, aage bhi khwab sanjounga
Wo na chahe, phir bhi yaadein to nahi mit sakti na
Mere liye meri yaadein aur mere khwab hi kaaphi hain
Aakhir wo bhi, ek khwab hi to hai..

Itna kuchh karke bhi to kuchh bhi nahi kiya maine
Bas kuchh adhkachri si zindagi jeeta ja raha hu
Jo chaaha, usko pa nahi paya
Jo paya, usko nibha nahi paya, usme doob nahi paya
Kuchh bhi to nahi hai is band mutthi me aaj
Na kisi ka dard, na gham, na hi kise ke kahe hue alphaaz
Bas kuchh bikhre hue pal pade hain ek thandi si zameen par
Inhi palo pe paav rakh kar badhta ja raha hu nirantar
Kisi ke peechhe nahi hu, par koi aage bhi kaha hai
Dhundh sa bankar chhaya hua hai mera muqaddar
Kaha hu mai, kaha jana hai mujhe
Kuchh samajh nahi aata, konsa afsana banana hai mujhe
Guzarne na do in palo ko ae zindagi
Afsos hoga, hai adhkachri zindagi

The senses have gone now
The warmth that I felt is no more
Its cold n senseless
No feelings
As if the person inside it is dead
No energy flowing out
She must be feeling calmer now
She must have adapted to this
Its Perfect numbness

Time is trying to heal the wound again
It’s not so raw n sore anymore
Though the blood still hasn’t coagulated
N every touch of the air inflames it again
The wound might heal soon still
But the scar has made an everlasting blemish
There’s no sound of agitation now
The body has adapted to the numbness
Its lighter to carry oneself now
Pushing all the way through to the doors of nowhere
My truth is changing to their truth
N my blood cells gaining a new identity
Scared of revealing, my face, switching masks hastily
Drought eyes conceiving infinity
The inner soul trudging in a drag
Life finding new expressions, new beginnings n new company

Sanskaro se badi daulat aur koi nahi
Shishtacharo aur sadvicharo se badi shohrat aur koi nahi
Doob jana sikko ki chakachaund me aasan hai magar
Aatm-samman se badhkar zarurat aur koi nahi.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Colors..a vague writing..

Blue sky
Dark, blackish night
Yellowish orange street lights
Red color of blood
Dirty brown mud
Beautiful green leaves
Greenish bluish water of seas
Different colored fruits
Orangish ,suns silhouette
Transparent water
Color of the relation between father n daughter
Pure deep love
White, the color of dove
The ugly color of a disliking frown
The color of a harmonious peace loving town
The warmth of the color of love in bed
The paleness of coloration of a dead
The tinge of brightness in happiness
The eternal color of God bless
The silvery attraction of the worldly things
The golden treasure of our elder’s blessings
The dark blue gloomy mood
The colorful food n the decoloring feud
The beautiful silver stars over black sky
The colors of the time which with friends we enjoy
The color of success
The color of loss
The color of truth
The color of deception n albatross
N many more innumerable colors in life
Some visible directly, some unknown to human eyes
I thank all the colors for being
Without them,our vision are handicapped from seeing.

Trust

You used to cut your hand (cubitus) when angry
You used to hurt yourself when dissatisfied
I thought id make you independent n free
I thought id change your tears to smiles every time you cried
I gave you all the space that I could
I gave you every right as a wife, which a husband should
This was the trust that I had in you
N I just wanted to make this fact be realized to you too
I never used you
Or in better words, never misused you
I never wanted our relationship to be a part of the worldliness
I cashed in on every moment for your minutest happiness
N see what I got
A torn relationship, n ruthless pain which I never besought
Yes I know, there must be something on my part too
But then, don’t I have a right to even know what you are going through
No I am not writing to prove that I miss you
N I am not at all in a mood in any way to get back to you
Have had enough of trust
Have had enough of “I”, “U” n “V”
I just wana live now
Let the history just remain a history
But yes, I have learned a lot
I have learned about relationships, about love, n about God
Theres a lot more to see
N im ready

Drama queen..

Knowing everything, yet being so much unknown
Till what extent can a life continue like this
When there’s no will to live any more
When all the teachings taught by age become’s useless, worthless
When the imaginary strength of money blinds the truth
What is the limit of going on living without liking anything at all
No change, no newness, no interest of being alive
All capabilities burnt long while back in ashes
Everything vague, everything worthless
Yet the wickedness surviving the evil mind
Power of falsity overpowering the power of eternity
Lost by the limbs, by the brain, by all the senses
Yet the pride of money drifting along the unreal self esteem
Beating, thrashing, raging at all times without the strength to face the response
Without ever realizing the actual real self, n real capabilities
Till when can we be the spectators of Gods play
Give us strength oh Lord! Save us from dismay.

AHEM

Itna bhi na badh jana mere ahem
Ki mai khud ko bhi na pehchan pau
Jin ke sahare ke bina na guzarti ho zindagi apni
Unhi ko ek din thokar pahuchau

Itna bhi na badh jana
Ki aakho par siwae andhere ke kuchh mehsoos na ho
Ki dard hota ho jab kisi jigar ke tukde ko
Tab bhi ye dil mayus na ho

Mujhe mat duba dena ahem ke samandar me
Mai nahi chahta paiso ki chamak me khona
Nahi chahiye mujhe makhmali kafan
Mujhe de dena meri banjar dharti ka ek asmani kona

Kis kaam ka hai wo ahem
Jo swabhiman ko ghamand ke age girvi rakh de
Jo aatm-samman ko duniya ki chaka-chaund se kuchal de
Jo jeevan ko bhi be-imani me badal de

Reh lene do mujhe gareeb agar ahem hai ameeri
Beh lene do mujhe,bhale kitni bhi ho sachchai gehri
Kabhi to mai bhi tar jaunga
Kabhi to is andhi daud se ubhar paunga

Mat quredo un zakhmo ko jo kabhi bhar nahi sakte
Mat mehsus hone do unka wajood, mat yaad karo adhoore vade
Jo kabhi tha hi nahi, uski shikayat hi kya ho
Mit jane do, ghul jane do, beh jane do, wo rishte jo panap nahi sakte

Changing mind..

can you give a blind, his vision
can you give a deaf, his sense to listen
can you make a lame walk on his feet
can you make a dumb able to speak
n what even if you try
even if you brighten up the light for a blinds eye
what would he see in this world of hatred n jealousy
would he love the expressions on every face - of fear, discomfort n insanity
would he like to read those dreadful articles on affects of humanity
he’d be better off being blind
at least he would have one less sense to see the plagues of mankind
n what would a deaf listen to if given a chance
those howling ministers n their forever treacherous stance
or those abuses n vilifications used by our own brothers
divided by some supremo who has replaced God with his ownself
at least a deaf is better than a pitiful common man
who listens n gradually adapts to being a part of the distrustful plan
everyone here gets what he actually deserves
those who are deaf dumb or blind
at least are better than half of the mankind
n above all of this
who are you to attain such powers to heal these crisis
who are you to even think of helping
when you cant even improve your own living
you always want to see a change
but you keep your own self out of the range
no one can make others perfect
if you really wana start, start by your own resurrect

a disturbing thought

how can one find love again
once been in a relationship
can any new relationship replace it
can any present moment erase the past imprints
what happens when you feel discomfort
for not being in the relationship you always starved for
for comparing every new relationship on the base of past betrayals
once committed, how can the bond just vaporise
its like, whom to believe -
- a person who admits one lies
-or a person who admits one doesnt lie
-when you actually want to get away with lies
is it so easy to forget n not to regret
is it so wise to play for such a bet